Lost in Humanitarian Limbo
Dear Neologist,
Our all-volunteer disaster relief team has been working very hard in an area that I will not disclose here. Regrettably, our operations director, who is at a far remove from both the situation here and, arguably, also removed from reality, is hampering our efforts. What is the neologism for someone who has the following traits?
1. a high degree of incompetence
2. a remarkable ability to state the obvious without solving the problem
3. the corresponding capability to not answer any questions
or provide useful feedback
4. a bizarre obsession with his own looks
Help, Neologist.
Our efforts are important,
but our sanity is as well.
Sincerely,
Lost in Humanitarian Limbo
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Dear Lost in Humanitarian Limbo,
Ah... the the frustration with inefficiency, the impatience, the personal judgment! You've chosen well to turn to the Germans in your moment of linguistic need.
From your description it's clear that your
operations director can be classified as a
Selbstverliebter Hochdruckwindbeutel
mit akutem Kompetenzdefizit
m, zelbst'-fur-leeb'-tur hoak'-drook-vint'-boy-tel
mit ah-coo'-tum com-puh-tents'-day-fee-tseet'
(a narcissistic high pressure gas bag with an acute competence deficit)
If you are confident that all your co-workers will stand with you publicly, and that they'll hold the line when things get tough, I say you put that man in a life boat and sail the HMS Bounty to friendlier waters. (Or the Schlachtschiff Bismarck, as the case may be.)
If the odds are that you'll have to go it alone, you have four choices (listed here in ascending order of German-ness):
1. You can meekly accept circumstances you cannot change.
2. You can resign in protest.
3. You can start needling the man with passive aggressive
little "jokes." It's a somewhat dangerous tactic
known as confront and puncture and may actually deflate
the man. It may also get you fired. Even money.
4. Or you can invade a neighboring country. (This will not change
your operations director, but it'll make you feel better.)
Whatever you do, know that the Neologist's heart goes out to you. Having to deal with egomaniacs is bad enough, but it is the inefficiency that makes the Teutonic soul cry in agony. (What does that sound like? I'm glad you asked.)
May your Windbeutel spring a leak, flatulate across the room
and fly out the nearest window in hilarious helplessness.
Mit herzlichen Grüßen,
The Neologist